It has taken me a while to be able to finish this blog up, I surely expected to be updating while in the hospital.
July 29th came and with little sleep Dustin and I made our way to the Fetal Care Institute to begin the process of the best and we would soon find out the hardest day or our life. Once we were there the two grandma's, 3 grandpa's, 2 uncles, and a great aunt and uncle showed up to help us welcome this amazing little guy into the world. While laying there getting all checked in and ready Parker was kicking away and I was enjoying every last minute of it and getting scared as every minute that passed meant that my little guy would have to start his fight soon. The ride up to delivery was one of the scariest moment I thought I would ever have . Delivery was a little later than it was suppose to be because the Doctor was running late but to me it didn't matter that was just longer that I was protecting my baby.
Parker made his way into this world at 9:01 am :) I am not sure what time it was that I actually got to the NICU to see him . I woke up in recovery and all I wanted to know was that he was ok and not on Ecmo. They kept telling me he was doing great and not on ECMO, and at the time he was doing ok . At this point family had not seen him yet. As they pushed my bed into his NICU room I seen a lot of people standing outside his room and thought it was a little weird but I was just excited to see my Parker, my little fighter.
The moment I seen him I felt complete and for once in my life I had done something right. Even with the breathing tubes in him he was perfect. He looked so much like his daddy :) I was the happiest I had ever been in my life with my baby and my husband there standing next to me, my two loves .
Within minutes of the best moment in my life it came to the worst news anyone could ever want to hear. "There is nothing more we can do" I was so confused I was told he was doing ok now I was being told this was it. I didnt understand. They then told me he wasnt going to make it. My world came crashing down. How am I suppose to say hello and goodbye to my baby all in the same day? I just didnt understand what they were telling me . They told me that they had the vents on the highest they could put them and it still was not doing enough and he couldnt be put on ECMO b/c his lungs were not thick enough and it would burn them up and right now the Carbon Dioxide was building up in his body and was going to poison his little body. My heart sank... I was holding my perfect little guy that wansnt going to make it and I had to let him go and there wasnt anything I could do. I felt so helpless, I am suppose to protect him and I couldnt any more .
My amazing nurse Katie is one of the best nurses I could have asked for. They had mentioned taking Parker off his breathing machine before we even got to see him and she said No and wouldn't let them do it , so thanks to her I actually got to hold my baby and see him open his little eyes and he was able to hold our fingers. She also got them to let me take Parker to St.Marys so I could spend some more time with him. She hand pumped him all the way there just so we had more precious time with him She is an amazing women that I will never in my life forget what she did for me.
Parker passed away at 2:15 in his daddies arms.
He only lived for a couple short hours but he changed our life forever.
This will be the final blog entry for our little Parker, I will leave it up for other mothers who will have to go through this and look for information or answers or whatever it may be that they are looking for
Mommy loves you more than life it self Parker, there will not be one second of one day that I do not think about you and what should have been.<3
Baby Parker Campbell
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
36 hours till he makes his arrival!
It is hard to believe the day is only 36 hours away! I am still not really sure if it has hit me that this is all going to happen Friday. We have done everything we could do to prep for this day. As long as I don't go into early labor in the next 36 hours everything is set up for this one moment. I am beyond excited to see his little face and long for the day I will actually get to hold him, but I know it will be weeks. I did get a call from the fetal care institute today and they told me that his head lung ratio went from a 2.5 to a 2.8 last week so that was some good news I got. I am trying so hard to keep all the "what if's " out of my mind and be thankful for what we have had so far. We have made it so close to 37 weeks, His head lung ratio was at a 1.3 when we first started and now we are so close to a 3, we have had only good news about how his heart looks( which is def a good thing) and we know he has a left lung we just don't know how much.... I am so thankful for all of this! I know that no matter what the outcome is Parker is in the best hands at Cardinal Glennon, they are truly some amazing dr's there <3
I want to Thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and support we have received. This pregnancy isn't what anyone would have hoped for but I wouldn't trade it for anything b/c I am going to have a perfect little miracle to call my baby. I have met some amazing people through this whole thing and that too is a blessing. If it wasn't for the support of the other mothers that have been exactly where I am I would be a basket case.
I just ask that you keep Parker in you thoughts and prayers for the next couple of weeks as he is going to have to fight the odd's that are against him <3
Pray that
* No ECMO is needed
* He lungs are stronger than expected
* He does not have ANY pulmonary hypoplasia and pulmonary hypertension.
* He is able to make it home to his mommy and daddy <3
I will be posting here to update as soon as I can and I will post pics for you all to see how amazingly cute he is .... Again thanks for the prayers!
I want to Thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and support we have received. This pregnancy isn't what anyone would have hoped for but I wouldn't trade it for anything b/c I am going to have a perfect little miracle to call my baby. I have met some amazing people through this whole thing and that too is a blessing. If it wasn't for the support of the other mothers that have been exactly where I am I would be a basket case.
I just ask that you keep Parker in you thoughts and prayers for the next couple of weeks as he is going to have to fight the odd's that are against him <3
Pray that
* No ECMO is needed
* He lungs are stronger than expected
* He does not have ANY pulmonary hypoplasia and pulmonary hypertension.
* He is able to make it home to his mommy and daddy <3
I will be posting here to update as soon as I can and I will post pics for you all to see how amazingly cute he is .... Again thanks for the prayers!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
WOW .... Only 1 more week
Well today was my last appointment with the most amazing set of doctors I could ask for to help me with my little guy. Today's appointment went kinda like I thought it would, nothing too exciting (well besides I got to see my little guy) , He now weighs 5 lbs 14 oz, he has gained 14 oz... I figure he will weigh about 6lbs 5oz when he is born, not to bad considering he is going to be 3 weeks early. We got some good pics of his face again I believe he is ready to show the world how cute he is :) Other then that they just went over what to expect on the BIG DAY.
I try to tell myself I am ready for all of this to happen so we can start the road to recovery and bring him home, but there is just so much unknown on how things will play out when he gets here it makes it hard to be "ready" or even "excited". I was told today that it will be a couple of hours after I have him before I can see him before they take me by ambulance to the other hospital. I always dreamed of the day I would have him and get to cuddle with him but instead I have to see him and leave him, I don't know how I am gonna do it just thinking about it kills me. I know it is for the best and he will have family by his side but it don't make it any easier to accept it .
So far the amazing response to my prayer request has helped Parker stay put until they come to get him :)
Lets continue to pray that
* He stays in there for 1 more week
* He has the strength to avoid ECMO
* He beats the odds and is able to come home to his mommy and daddy <3
Thank you again , I can not say it enough to everyone that is praying so hard for my little guy, For those that are apart of "Prayers for Parker" I will be keeping you all updated through this site until he is home safe and sound with us. Yes I will post pics of his cute little face too :)
I try to tell myself I am ready for all of this to happen so we can start the road to recovery and bring him home, but there is just so much unknown on how things will play out when he gets here it makes it hard to be "ready" or even "excited". I was told today that it will be a couple of hours after I have him before I can see him before they take me by ambulance to the other hospital. I always dreamed of the day I would have him and get to cuddle with him but instead I have to see him and leave him, I don't know how I am gonna do it just thinking about it kills me. I know it is for the best and he will have family by his side but it don't make it any easier to accept it .
So far the amazing response to my prayer request has helped Parker stay put until they come to get him :)
Lets continue to pray that
* He stays in there for 1 more week
* He has the strength to avoid ECMO
* He beats the odds and is able to come home to his mommy and daddy <3
Thank you again , I can not say it enough to everyone that is praying so hard for my little guy, For those that are apart of "Prayers for Parker" I will be keeping you all updated through this site until he is home safe and sound with us. Yes I will post pics of his cute little face too :)
Saturday, July 16, 2011
12 more days .....
It feels so weird to say and know that in 12 short days I will have a precious lil boy! I have waited for that day for so long, since before I was even married. I always imagined what it would be like to be pregnant and then become a mom, never did I imagine it like this. Even with everything my husband and I have been through I am not angry with what is going on with Parker anymore. I know he is a fighter and I pray that he still has that fight left in him to show the world that he isnt going anywhere. It seems like everyday as the delivery gets closer I get so many thoughts going through my head. The "What if's" or the "Hopefully this" consume my thoughts. So many people tell me " Julia, it will all work out and things are going to be fine" and as much as I want to believe them and I really do try to tell myself that but I know the truth... No one knows what is gonna happen on that day and the weeks following his birth. My hope is that he comes out stronger than what they anticipate. They know he has a left lung but they cant be sure how much is there b/c of his other organs blocking it. I just pray that he surpasses everyone's expectations, but like I said no one knows what will happen.
I want so bad to have my baby shower and get the room ready and be excited about everything, but then reality sits in and I know I shouldn't do it just yet.
I have my last dr appointment with the Fetal Care this week then Delivery will be next. It is weird to know that after almost 4 months going their just about every week I wont be anymore. I will update with more news of what they have to say later this week... Sorry this blog is all over the place I just have so many thoughts going through my mind and this seemed to be the best place to put them....
FOR THE NEXT 12 DAYS PLEASE PRAY THAT PARKER
* Stays right where is he until it is his time to come out
* The Dr's have good news on Thursday
* NO ECMO the day of and anytime there after he is born
Thanks again to all of you out there that are praying <3
I want so bad to have my baby shower and get the room ready and be excited about everything, but then reality sits in and I know I shouldn't do it just yet.
I have my last dr appointment with the Fetal Care this week then Delivery will be next. It is weird to know that after almost 4 months going their just about every week I wont be anymore. I will update with more news of what they have to say later this week... Sorry this blog is all over the place I just have so many thoughts going through my mind and this seemed to be the best place to put them....
FOR THE NEXT 12 DAYS PLEASE PRAY THAT PARKER
* Stays right where is he until it is his time to come out
* The Dr's have good news on Thursday
* NO ECMO the day of and anytime there after he is born
Thanks again to all of you out there that are praying <3
Monday, July 11, 2011
17 days and counting....
The days are just flying by faster and faster. I get more mixed emotions everyday that passes. Today my mom brought home a basket full of so many baby things that a girl that she don't even know from work made for me. It was the sweetest thing ever. For a couple minutes I actually forgot what my lil guy was gonna face and I could see him wearing the cute little crock's that were in there. It was good to have a gift to open since I decided to put my actual baby shower off till he comes home. I have received other odd's and in's from other people but this was an actual gift. Sounds weird but I was very excited and thankful to get it :)
Parker has been a very active lil guy these past couple of days, I am going to miss his lil hiccups and kicks and jabs at my ribs so much. I have started to pack our bags a little here and there, it seems like the more I pack the more sad I get b/c I just want him to come home like a normal baby and not have to fight like he is going to.
I find it crazy that in 17 days he will be here! At that point I have done everything I could do and it is now is God's hands to protect him like I have. I pray that he surprises everyone and comes out in a better situation than we anticipate.
I want to thank everyone for is praying for him and all of your kind words. I don't want people to think I want them to feel sorry for me or anything like that . I made this blog up for other parents that are going through the same thing can relate. I know it has helped me to talk to other mothers who are going through the same. I made the event up on Facebook to ask for prayers b/c it is the last thing that I can try to do to possible get god to understand that I want my baby more than life itself. The support I have received is more than I could have ever asked for. I wish I could meet and Thank each and everyone of you that are praying for my lil guys health.
Please continue to pray that
* Parker stays put until the dr's get him out
* He is strong enough to avoid ECMO
* He overcomes this and comes home to us
Parker has been a very active lil guy these past couple of days, I am going to miss his lil hiccups and kicks and jabs at my ribs so much. I have started to pack our bags a little here and there, it seems like the more I pack the more sad I get b/c I just want him to come home like a normal baby and not have to fight like he is going to.
I find it crazy that in 17 days he will be here! At that point I have done everything I could do and it is now is God's hands to protect him like I have. I pray that he surprises everyone and comes out in a better situation than we anticipate.
I want to thank everyone for is praying for him and all of your kind words. I don't want people to think I want them to feel sorry for me or anything like that . I made this blog up for other parents that are going through the same thing can relate. I know it has helped me to talk to other mothers who are going through the same. I made the event up on Facebook to ask for prayers b/c it is the last thing that I can try to do to possible get god to understand that I want my baby more than life itself. The support I have received is more than I could have ever asked for. I wish I could meet and Thank each and everyone of you that are praying for my lil guys health.
Please continue to pray that
* Parker stays put until the dr's get him out
* He is strong enough to avoid ECMO
* He overcomes this and comes home to us
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Not much longer to go till "D -Day"
Everything seems to be going rather smooth right now, no big changes or concerns. I suppose I am happy about that b/c when Parker gets here things will become a lil crazy. I had a Dr.appointment with the FCI yesterday and my lil guy now weighs 5 LBS! So he is still gaining weight like he is suppose to! His head lung ratio went down from a 3 to a 2.5, the doctors don't seem to be concerned with that b/c his lungs are still "growing". I was sent to get a steroid shot yesterday and another one today to help with his lung maturing at a rapid speed. I had an ECO yesterday and things still look good with his heart. Still has good blood flow the only "concern" is that it is smashed a little on the left side due to all the other organs pressing against it , but that is to be expected with CDH babies they say. I asked the doctors if there were any other big concerns other than the obvious with his lungs and he said no, that made me feel a bit better that so far there isnt any big concerns with anything else. My fluid levels have went up a lil bit out of the normal rage and are now in the moderate rage but again they say it is no big concern yet. So things seem to be staying pretty steady so far.
Delivery is only 21 days away, in 3 weeks at this time Parker will be here! I am full of so many mixed emotions. I tell myself on a daily basis that he will be ok and he will fight but I cant get rid of the thought of "what if". As long as he has fight in him and is fighting through this, I wont give up i just cant. Our life has already changed so much and here in 21 days we take another long road before we can bring him home. I cant wait and I pray that things will be somewhat normal one day and he will be a happy healthy lil guy.
I am not sure if many people even read this blog but I am hoping that whoever does will pray that Parker
- does NOT attempt to make an early arrival
- has lungs strong enough to avoid ECMO
- is strong enough to fight through this and come home to his mommy and daddy and the rest of the family
Delivery is only 21 days away, in 3 weeks at this time Parker will be here! I am full of so many mixed emotions. I tell myself on a daily basis that he will be ok and he will fight but I cant get rid of the thought of "what if". As long as he has fight in him and is fighting through this, I wont give up i just cant. Our life has already changed so much and here in 21 days we take another long road before we can bring him home. I cant wait and I pray that things will be somewhat normal one day and he will be a happy healthy lil guy.
I am not sure if many people even read this blog but I am hoping that whoever does will pray that Parker
- does NOT attempt to make an early arrival
- has lungs strong enough to avoid ECMO
- is strong enough to fight through this and come home to his mommy and daddy and the rest of the family
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