It feels so weird to say and know that in 12 short days I will have a precious lil boy! I have waited for that day for so long, since before I was even married. I always imagined what it would be like to be pregnant and then become a mom, never did I imagine it like this. Even with everything my husband and I have been through I am not angry with what is going on with Parker anymore. I know he is a fighter and I pray that he still has that fight left in him to show the world that he isnt going anywhere. It seems like everyday as the delivery gets closer I get so many thoughts going through my head. The "What if's" or the "Hopefully this" consume my thoughts. So many people tell me " Julia, it will all work out and things are going to be fine" and as much as I want to believe them and I really do try to tell myself that but I know the truth... No one knows what is gonna happen on that day and the weeks following his birth. My hope is that he comes out stronger than what they anticipate. They know he has a left lung but they cant be sure how much is there b/c of his other organs blocking it. I just pray that he surpasses everyone's expectations, but like I said no one knows what will happen.
I want so bad to have my baby shower and get the room ready and be excited about everything, but then reality sits in and I know I shouldn't do it just yet.
I have my last dr appointment with the Fetal Care this week then Delivery will be next. It is weird to know that after almost 4 months going their just about every week I wont be anymore. I will update with more news of what they have to say later this week... Sorry this blog is all over the place I just have so many thoughts going through my mind and this seemed to be the best place to put them....
FOR THE NEXT 12 DAYS PLEASE PRAY THAT PARKER
* Stays right where is he until it is his time to come out
* The Dr's have good news on Thursday
* NO ECMO the day of and anytime there after he is born
Thanks again to all of you out there that are praying <3
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
17 days and counting....
The days are just flying by faster and faster. I get more mixed emotions everyday that passes. Today my mom brought home a basket full of so many baby things that a girl that she don't even know from work made for me. It was the sweetest thing ever. For a couple minutes I actually forgot what my lil guy was gonna face and I could see him wearing the cute little crock's that were in there. It was good to have a gift to open since I decided to put my actual baby shower off till he comes home. I have received other odd's and in's from other people but this was an actual gift. Sounds weird but I was very excited and thankful to get it :)
Parker has been a very active lil guy these past couple of days, I am going to miss his lil hiccups and kicks and jabs at my ribs so much. I have started to pack our bags a little here and there, it seems like the more I pack the more sad I get b/c I just want him to come home like a normal baby and not have to fight like he is going to.
I find it crazy that in 17 days he will be here! At that point I have done everything I could do and it is now is God's hands to protect him like I have. I pray that he surprises everyone and comes out in a better situation than we anticipate.
I want to thank everyone for is praying for him and all of your kind words. I don't want people to think I want them to feel sorry for me or anything like that . I made this blog up for other parents that are going through the same thing can relate. I know it has helped me to talk to other mothers who are going through the same. I made the event up on Facebook to ask for prayers b/c it is the last thing that I can try to do to possible get god to understand that I want my baby more than life itself. The support I have received is more than I could have ever asked for. I wish I could meet and Thank each and everyone of you that are praying for my lil guys health.
Please continue to pray that
* Parker stays put until the dr's get him out
* He is strong enough to avoid ECMO
* He overcomes this and comes home to us
Parker has been a very active lil guy these past couple of days, I am going to miss his lil hiccups and kicks and jabs at my ribs so much. I have started to pack our bags a little here and there, it seems like the more I pack the more sad I get b/c I just want him to come home like a normal baby and not have to fight like he is going to.
I find it crazy that in 17 days he will be here! At that point I have done everything I could do and it is now is God's hands to protect him like I have. I pray that he surprises everyone and comes out in a better situation than we anticipate.
I want to thank everyone for is praying for him and all of your kind words. I don't want people to think I want them to feel sorry for me or anything like that . I made this blog up for other parents that are going through the same thing can relate. I know it has helped me to talk to other mothers who are going through the same. I made the event up on Facebook to ask for prayers b/c it is the last thing that I can try to do to possible get god to understand that I want my baby more than life itself. The support I have received is more than I could have ever asked for. I wish I could meet and Thank each and everyone of you that are praying for my lil guys health.
Please continue to pray that
* Parker stays put until the dr's get him out
* He is strong enough to avoid ECMO
* He overcomes this and comes home to us
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Pics of Parker ( finally able to get some with out his hands in his face )
Friday, July 8, 2011
Not much longer to go till "D -Day"
Everything seems to be going rather smooth right now, no big changes or concerns. I suppose I am happy about that b/c when Parker gets here things will become a lil crazy. I had a Dr.appointment with the FCI yesterday and my lil guy now weighs 5 LBS! So he is still gaining weight like he is suppose to! His head lung ratio went down from a 3 to a 2.5, the doctors don't seem to be concerned with that b/c his lungs are still "growing". I was sent to get a steroid shot yesterday and another one today to help with his lung maturing at a rapid speed. I had an ECO yesterday and things still look good with his heart. Still has good blood flow the only "concern" is that it is smashed a little on the left side due to all the other organs pressing against it , but that is to be expected with CDH babies they say. I asked the doctors if there were any other big concerns other than the obvious with his lungs and he said no, that made me feel a bit better that so far there isnt any big concerns with anything else. My fluid levels have went up a lil bit out of the normal rage and are now in the moderate rage but again they say it is no big concern yet. So things seem to be staying pretty steady so far.
Delivery is only 21 days away, in 3 weeks at this time Parker will be here! I am full of so many mixed emotions. I tell myself on a daily basis that he will be ok and he will fight but I cant get rid of the thought of "what if". As long as he has fight in him and is fighting through this, I wont give up i just cant. Our life has already changed so much and here in 21 days we take another long road before we can bring him home. I cant wait and I pray that things will be somewhat normal one day and he will be a happy healthy lil guy.
I am not sure if many people even read this blog but I am hoping that whoever does will pray that Parker
- does NOT attempt to make an early arrival
- has lungs strong enough to avoid ECMO
- is strong enough to fight through this and come home to his mommy and daddy and the rest of the family
Delivery is only 21 days away, in 3 weeks at this time Parker will be here! I am full of so many mixed emotions. I tell myself on a daily basis that he will be ok and he will fight but I cant get rid of the thought of "what if". As long as he has fight in him and is fighting through this, I wont give up i just cant. Our life has already changed so much and here in 21 days we take another long road before we can bring him home. I cant wait and I pray that things will be somewhat normal one day and he will be a happy healthy lil guy.
I am not sure if many people even read this blog but I am hoping that whoever does will pray that Parker
- does NOT attempt to make an early arrival
- has lungs strong enough to avoid ECMO
- is strong enough to fight through this and come home to his mommy and daddy and the rest of the family
Monday, June 27, 2011
Dr appointment for 6-23 went very good!
Doctor appointment went good . Parker weighed 4lbs 1oz ( last time was 2 lbs 15oz), He has hair and has practiced his breathing which is good. We tried to get more 3D pics but as we all know to well he wants to surprise us with that he looks like when he comes out. We were able to see that he has some chubby cheeks. His hands are always in his face and then he moved them and put his toes up there lol. My fluid levels are still in the normal rage, Valastos said they are steady and it looks good :) We have a head to lung ratio of a 3( last time was only a 2.1) so that too was awesome! They have gave me a date for the exit procedure it is July 29th which means we are ONLY 32 days away YIKES.... I am excited yet scared for him to come. The doctors say things are looking good it is now just waiting to see how the lungs will operate when he comes out. Once again thanks for all the prayers, I can never thank you all enough.
* Pray that no early signs of labor before July 29th***STAY PUT PARKER***
* Lung growth*
and most important
* his lungs operate good enough to not have ECMO*
Next appointment is on 7-7 * Pray for good news* <3
I would love to talk to other CDH mommies! If you would like to add me on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1550320221
Just send me a message :)
* Pray that no early signs of labor before July 29th***STAY PUT PARKER***
* Lung growth*
and most important
* his lungs operate good enough to not have ECMO*
Next appointment is on 7-7 * Pray for good news* <3
I would love to talk to other CDH mommies! If you would like to add me on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1550320221
Just send me a message :)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Things are going pretty smooth with the exceptions of the millions of thoughts running through my mind
I went to the FCI last Thursday the 9th , it was 4 weeks past my intervention surgery. As I have said before we expected the head lung ratio to go down and it did. The ratio went from a 2.8 to a 2.1 not sure yet what the lung volume is yet ( Before the surgery it was only 12%). This is the 1st Thursday since we found out the diagnosis that we have not had an appointment, I must say I would rather have the appointment so I know what is going on. Next week we go back and we are hoping that the ratio goes up a lil bit more and that he weighs close to at least 4 lbs** Keeping my fingers crossed**
I had a regular prenatal appointment on Tuesday and everything looks good. She was happy to see that I gained 3 lbs so that brings me to a total of 8 lbs :) I am measuring at 32 weeks but I was only 30 at the time but she said I have been measuring 2 weeks ahead of time so it is nothing to worry about.
I find it crazy that tomorrow I will be 31 weeks it is all coming to fast. In one way I am excited to get him here but on the other hand with the odds stacked against us I would rather him stay in there for another 30 weeks. Even with all the complications I have had I have loved being pregnant. Those lil kicks that I get from him just melt my heart I cant help but love them, even the rib shots <3
I had a conversation with my husband the other day that I never would have though I would need to have before I even see my baby. What are we gonna do if the worst thing happens.... It is something that I know I need to kinda think about b/c if anything happens I wont be in the right state of mind to think of anything but I feel like if I even think about it than I am giving up hope and hope is all I have.
Everyday that passes I get more and more scared for what he is going to have to go through and the road we are about to go down.
**For now we pray that
-He stays put safe and sound right where he is at until the Dr's say it is ok for him to come( min of 43 days)
-Continue lung growth and volume
-NO ECMO when he does come
Thank you for everyone who is reading this and the continue prayers that we are getting, I wish I could thank each and everyone of you.
I had a regular prenatal appointment on Tuesday and everything looks good. She was happy to see that I gained 3 lbs so that brings me to a total of 8 lbs :) I am measuring at 32 weeks but I was only 30 at the time but she said I have been measuring 2 weeks ahead of time so it is nothing to worry about.
I find it crazy that tomorrow I will be 31 weeks it is all coming to fast. In one way I am excited to get him here but on the other hand with the odds stacked against us I would rather him stay in there for another 30 weeks. Even with all the complications I have had I have loved being pregnant. Those lil kicks that I get from him just melt my heart I cant help but love them, even the rib shots <3
I had a conversation with my husband the other day that I never would have though I would need to have before I even see my baby. What are we gonna do if the worst thing happens.... It is something that I know I need to kinda think about b/c if anything happens I wont be in the right state of mind to think of anything but I feel like if I even think about it than I am giving up hope and hope is all I have.
Everyday that passes I get more and more scared for what he is going to have to go through and the road we are about to go down.
**For now we pray that
-He stays put safe and sound right where he is at until the Dr's say it is ok for him to come( min of 43 days)
-Continue lung growth and volume
-NO ECMO when he does come
Thank you for everyone who is reading this and the continue prayers that we are getting, I wish I could thank each and everyone of you.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Our lil guy is seeing progress
On Tuesday I went to my regular OB for my prenatal checkup and everything there seems to be great, besides they want me to possibly gain more weight. I have only gained 5lbs so far and she said they would like to see at least 10lbs ( if only they knew I eat all the time :) ). My blood pressure and everything else looked good !
Yesterday we went to the Fetal Care Institute (FCI) and we got good news there too. They said the babies heart looks amazing and very strong :) We got a head lung ratio of 2.8 ....last week was 2.4 so it is moving on up. I asked Dr. Yang where or what do we need to be at or what is a healthy baby at usually. He( Dr. Yang) said that with a non CDH baby they have BOTH lungs that are at 2.8 or a lil higher, but we only have been measuring the right lung since the left lung is so compressed and hidden by the other organs. Yang said it appears that right lung could be close to a NORMAL lung but we are not sure how much left lung is there b/c it is so hard to see ( We do know that there is some there we seen it right after the Gel surgery ). I know both Dr's were excited with the left lung they did see when they could see it so I feel good with thinking that he has a "good" amount of left lung. We are very excited that that lil guys right lung is close to a normal lung. We have a MRI next Wednesday and that should give us a better idea of what the lungs look like and the volume they have. Last time the MRI showed that his right lung only had a 12% volume and that is when the head lung ratio was in the low 1's. With it now being high 2's we should get some good volume numbers. They also measure the fluid around the baby b/c with CDH babies the fluid can build up faster than normal but so far I am still in the good zone and they haven't said anything about it being close to high so I was happy to hear that too!
They gave us some more 3D pics but being a stubborn lil boy that he is ( Dustin's son for sure) he kept putting his arm in front of his face and then he dug his face into the placenta. So we will try again next week I suppose. Since they only weigh him every other week this week he weighed 2lbs 15ozs.... almost 3 lbs!
Please keep our lil guy in your prayers we still have a long way way to go and need every thought and prayer that we can get for him. Thanks for the prayers thus far, I don't think I will ever be able to say thank you enough <3 I must stay pregnant for at least 56 more days to make it to 37 weeks .... they still have not given me a date for delivery.
Yesterday we went to the Fetal Care Institute (FCI) and we got good news there too. They said the babies heart looks amazing and very strong :) We got a head lung ratio of 2.8 ....last week was 2.4 so it is moving on up. I asked Dr. Yang where or what do we need to be at or what is a healthy baby at usually. He( Dr. Yang) said that with a non CDH baby they have BOTH lungs that are at 2.8 or a lil higher, but we only have been measuring the right lung since the left lung is so compressed and hidden by the other organs. Yang said it appears that right lung could be close to a NORMAL lung but we are not sure how much left lung is there b/c it is so hard to see ( We do know that there is some there we seen it right after the Gel surgery ). I know both Dr's were excited with the left lung they did see when they could see it so I feel good with thinking that he has a "good" amount of left lung. We are very excited that that lil guys right lung is close to a normal lung. We have a MRI next Wednesday and that should give us a better idea of what the lungs look like and the volume they have. Last time the MRI showed that his right lung only had a 12% volume and that is when the head lung ratio was in the low 1's. With it now being high 2's we should get some good volume numbers. They also measure the fluid around the baby b/c with CDH babies the fluid can build up faster than normal but so far I am still in the good zone and they haven't said anything about it being close to high so I was happy to hear that too!
They gave us some more 3D pics but being a stubborn lil boy that he is ( Dustin's son for sure) he kept putting his arm in front of his face and then he dug his face into the placenta. So we will try again next week I suppose. Since they only weigh him every other week this week he weighed 2lbs 15ozs.... almost 3 lbs!
Please keep our lil guy in your prayers we still have a long way way to go and need every thought and prayer that we can get for him. Thanks for the prayers thus far, I don't think I will ever be able to say thank you enough <3 I must stay pregnant for at least 56 more days to make it to 37 weeks .... they still have not given me a date for delivery.
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